Поможем друг другу

[FOX_MULDER]

И к слову просто так вдруг вам интересно, в данном тексте слово "cougar" обозначает женщину в возрасте, которая спит с молодыми парнями.

[Artem]

Привет всем.помогите с переводом) на русский.
текст:
Welcome to stay in a yurt to explore nomads' life style in Kyrgyzstan:
Sonkul Lake and Tash-Rabat.

- from EUR 12 per person



YURT is a traditional Kyrgyz dwelling. It is a roundshaped construction made of wooden framework covered with feltcarpet (koshma). Diameter of a common yurt is 4-9m. It is made of handmade woollen rugs (shirdak). Yurt has a round hole in the middle of roof for ventilation. Lighting is natural (through hole), by lamp, candle or by generator. Yurt is easily folding and portable; it takes 3-4 hours to set it up.

The Kyrgyz nomads have been using yurt since the 6th century. Although now most Kyrgyz people live in blockhouses they consider it as honour to set yurt on occasion of wedding or other significant events. Yurt is a very convenient dwelling especially during travels around Kyrgyz Republic. It matches well with local climate peculiarities (sharp weather changes during day: from snow to rain).

The microclimate in yurt is favourable. It keeps cool in summer and warm in winter. Accommodation in a Yurt is an opportunity to feel deeply the life style of Central Asia nomads, traditional Kyrgyz hospitality and culture.In summer season there are Yurt Inns along the Great Silk Road route - on Son-Kul Lake, on Tash-Rabat, on Issyk-Kul Lake. It offers basic facilities for lodging and gives opportunities for travellers along the Silk Road to have rest during 1-2 days stopover. There are beds with bedclothes, board, chairs in yurts.


We offer you accommodation in the following Yurt Inns:

Sonkul Yurt Inn

Tash-Rabat Yurt Inn



Sonkul Yurt Inn

Location: Sonkul Lake, Naryn oblast
How to get to: on the way from Naryn to Sonkul the Yurt Inn is located on the southern shore of the lake, 7 km to the west after the bridge; on the way from Kurtka to Sonkul it is located 12 km to the east after the fork Kara-Keche

Season: mid June – late September

Capacity: 30 persons: 5 yurts with 6 single beds
All beds have bed sheets, blanket + blanket cover, pillow + pillowcase

Heating: by wooden stoves, schedule: 10:00pm and 5:00am
In case of very cold nights (5 C and lower) the yurts are heated more often.

Meals: provided in a large yurt-canteen for 20 persons – 3 long tables with benches

Washstands: 2 with hot water

Toilets: 2 (outdoor)

Backpackers, bikers and other adventure travelers are welcomed to stay in own tents on the territory of Yurt Inn.

Scheme of meals: Breakfast 7:00-9:00, Lunch 12:00-14:00, Dinner 18:00-20:00
By preliminary request meals can be provided at other time.
Extra service: bar, souvenirs sale, horses for hire, folklore show (music, songs), kyrgyz traditional horseback riding games.

Prices for season 2011:

Shared accommodation in the yurt including breakfast: EUR 13 per person per day

Shared accommodation in the yurt without breakfast: EUR 12 per person per day

Place for tent: EUR 2/person

Meals: Breakfast EUR 3/person, Lunch EUR 5/person, Dinner EUR 5/person

For more information or booking requests contact ITMC by e-mail: itmc(at)elcat.kg


Tash-Rabat Yurt Inn

Location: Tash-Rabat, 115 km far from Torugart border post (Kyrgyz-Chinese border)

Season: mid May – late September

Capacity: 30 persons: 5 yurts with 6 single beds
All beds have bed sheets, blanket + blanket cover, pillow + pillowcase

Heating: by wooden stoves, schedule: 10:00pm and 5:00am
In case of very cold nights (5 C and lower) the yurts are heated more often.

Meals: provided in a large yurt-canteen for 20 persons – 3 long tables with benches

Washstands: 2 with hot water

Toilets: 2 (outdoor)

Backpackers, bikers and other adventure travelers are welcomed to stay in own tents on the territory of Yurt Inn.

Scheme of meals: Breakfast 7:00-9:00, Lunch 12:00-14:00, Dinner 18:00-20:00
By preliminary request meals can be provided at other time.
Extra service: bar, souvenirs sale, horses for hire, folklore show (music, songs), kyrgyz traditional horseback riding games.

Prices for season 2011:

Shared accommodation in the yurt including breakfast: EUR 13 per person per day

Shared accommodation in the yurt without breakfast: EUR 12 per person per day

Place for tent: EUR 2/person

Meals: Breakfast EUR 3/person, Lunch EUR 5/person, Dinner EUR 5/person

For more information or booking requests contact ITMC by e-mail: itmc(at)elcat.kg

[Екатерина Орлова]

Здравствуйте! Помогите перевести текст, пожалуйста!..

THE JOB OF MANAGEMENT

A strong management is the backbone of any successful company. This is not to say that employees are not also important, but it is management that ultimately makes the strategic decisions. You can think of management as the captain of a ship. While not physically driving the boat, he or she directs others to look after all the factors that ensure a safe trip.
Management Career Paths
A management career path is not a straight line. Nor is it the same for everyone. Yet all management career paths have a starting point. All have milestones along the way. Each paths leads managers to what they need to know based on where you are in your career and where your interests lie. On each visit you can go further along the path retrace steps along the same path, or start down a new path. Five paths are listed below
1. Considering Management
This person wonders whether a management career if for them. Maybe someone has suggested it. Maybe they just feel they can do it better than their current boss. Take this path to learn more about what management does and whether management might be for you.
2. Just Starting Management
This person has just started or is about to start, their first management job. This path will guide you through those first confusing challenging days and months. It takes you through the basic knowledge needed to be a manager and how to deal with the problems that crop up.
3. Going for it
This person has decided to try the management career path. They have no management experience yet, but are interested and motivated. This path leads to the knowledge and skill needed to land that first management job.
4. Experienced manager
This manager has had several years experience in management. He or she has had time to make mistakes and achieve some successes in the real world and now want to improve. This path leads to the resources to improve their skills and their promotion potential.
5. Management Pros and Consultants
These are veteran managers interested in increasing and sharing their professional knowledge and experience. They have managed different and difficult opportunities, but they know there is always more to learn. This path connects them with their peers and to cutting-edge theory.

[Ann13]

помогите пожалуйста перевести на русский язык
Conflict of interest results when a business person takes advantage of a situation for his or her own personal interest rather than for the employer's or organi¬zation's interest. Such conflict may occur when payments and gifts make their way into. business deals. A wise rule to remember is that anything given to a person that might unfairly influence? that person's business decision is a bribe, and all bribes are unethical.
буду очень благодарна

[Firo]

Здравствуйте, большая просьба, можете перевести текст?

With features including Siri, turn-by-turn navigation, new maps, a panoramic camera, 4G, restore to iCloud and a new digital dock, the iPhone 5 has it all – and it is ahead of the competition again
The digerati mostly greeted the iPhone 5 last week with a collective yawn. So much was already known – a longer, larger (yet not wider) screen, thinner body, a new connector offering instant obsolescence for hundreds of accessories – that its Tom Daley-like lack of splash was declared, in this Olympic year, to lack enough of the technology motto citius, grandior, vilius (faster, bigger, cheaper) – even if it is the first two.

Like statisticians poring over Olympic outcomes, they declared too that it didn't break any records – not the biggest screen, not the world's thinnest phone, not packing the most features. But as anyone who watched the Games would tell you, it's not the record-breaking that matters; it's the experience.

That starts when you hold it: raw specifications (18% thinner than last year's 4S, 20% lighter, 12% less volume) don't explain how it seems to float in the hand, and how typing or swiping feels like touching the very pixels. (New processes have removed one layer of glass from the touchscreen.) The tactile pleasure is second only to Nokia's beguilingly curved (and largely overlooked) Lumia 800. And while the 4in screen is longer, but not wider (enough for six rows of icons rather than five), you can still swipe across it with your thumb, unlike giants such as Samsung's whopping 4.8in Galaxy S3.

Software and services, not just specs

In truth, it's the software that makes this phone amazing. In a world dominated by "specifications" – how fast, how far, how many, many commentators think the Olympics of smartphones is measured, like a race, by how fast you do things. Does this phone run at 1.6 GHz and that one at 1.61GHz? Award the medal!

What photos and specifications can't tell you is what it's like to hold in your hand. While Apple can show you endless photos and promo videos (and critics can endlessly snort at how feeble its measurements are compared with bigger rivals), it's only by picking it up do you understand what Sir Jonathan Ive is on about. He speaks in his quietly rapturous tones about "chamfered edges" and "unique object" – and "seamlessly". (And "aluminium", correctly.)


Буду очень признателен, если поможете. Заранее спасибо!

[Барвиха]

Профессионалы! Обращяюсь с просьбой. Муж пивовар в домашних условиях))) варит пиво для себя. И вот тут мы не можем понять как избавиться от осадка в пиве.... Помогите понять вкратце о чем говорит этот человек. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=B2PPBmJZFd0
Спасибо огромное и заранее.

[CL=_=]

Всем привет ) есть проблемы с переводом текстов, если кто может помочь, буду очень благодарна =)

Black English
Today it is estimated that between 60-80 percent of all African Americans speak a variety of Black English at least some of time. Many speaks it as their only Standard English because their socio-economic and psychological ties are not restricted to their ethnic community.
But black English is not more than a mere expression of ethnicity; it is a vitalizing element within the broader American speech community. In the music of Stevie Wonder and Aretha Franklin, the films by Spike Lee, the writings by Tony Morrison and Rita Dove. And electrifying orator of Martin Luther King, Jr. and Jesse Jackson , the rich oral traditions of the community is there to be appreciated by all.

Английский сдает позиции.
Американский ученый Джожуа Фишер пишет в журнале «Форин полиси», что мировому господству (domination) английского я зыка вскоре может прийти конец( come to an end). Сейчас во всем мире английским языком в большей или меньшей степени владеют полтора миллиарда человек, однако лишь 380 миллионов считают его родным(mother tongue). «Развитие местных коммуникаций . информационных рынков, а так же миграция населения способствует распространению так называемых региональных языков во всем мире», - считает Фишер.
Франция ежегодно выделяет миллионы франков для проведения соответствующих конференций, выставок и прочих форумов(forums), посвященных культуре Франции. Германское правительство основало институт Гете, действующий во многих странах мира, в том числе и в России, а Сингапур, где статус официального имеют сразу четыре языка, уже почти 20 лет проводит национальную программу, посвященную китайскому.

[Марина649]

Здравствуйте. Подскажите-как перевести на английский язык фразу: "БУДЕТ ТАК,КАК Я ХОЧУ"(или что-нибудь с этим смыслом),чтобы грамматически правильно было. Онлайн переводчикам в этом плане не доверяю.У кого спрашивала-у всех разные варианты.А сама в английском не сильна. Я уже в отчаянии. Помогите пожалуйста. ЗАРАНЕЕ СПАСИБО)))

[Юлия О]

Пожалуйста помогите перевести предложение. Я никак не могу уловить его смысл. Не могу понять, почему платеж (disbursement) должен быть выполнен кредитором (by the lender). И не могу понять что такое With the Lender в данном контексте

Disbursement shall be made in one instalment by the Lender to the Borrower's current USD-account with the Lender.

[duhiephoa]

"Искусством вибрационной геможивописи на основе древней флорентийской мозаики из камней-самоцветов владеют несколько человек в мире. Их картины уникальны – выполнены из сотен пластин драгоценных камней, обладают высокой художественной привлекательностью, ценностью, неповторимостью. Особое их свойство – они излучают живительную для окружающих людей энергию. Вибрации гармонично подобранных самоцветов в картинах благотворно влияют на окружающее пространство и способствуют снятию стрессов, укреплению иммунитета, восстановлению здоровья, нейтрализуют геопатогенные зоны, препятствуют проникновению в помещения вибраций отрицательных энергий, излучаемых отдельными людьми, приборами, бытовой техникой. Камень вечен. Во флорентийской мозаике он к тому же необычайно красив. Картины выполнены в сложной стариной технике из дорогостоящих природных камней, гармонично сочетающихся с современными интерьерами элитных помещений. Подобные образцы высокого искусства чрезвычайно редкиmua số đề online ; и малодоступны, их приобретение – еще и достойное вложение средств, ведь в отличие других материальных ценностей предметы искусства из камней-самоцветов с годами будут лишь накапливать свою стоимость, как это происходит с раритетными изделиями, антиквариатом и драгоценностями."

[Blunt]

Люди очень прошу вас помогите с переводом этой статья взятой из википедии. Здесь говорится о сериале и актёрах, в нём игравших.

testees is a canadian and american television series, created by kenny hotz (of kenny vs. Spenny) and written and produced by kenny hotz and derek harvie (of the tom green show). Testees originally aired on thursdays at 10:30 pm est on fx and ran from october 9, 2008 to december 18, 2008. And debuted on october 14, 2008 on showcase in canada. The show is filmed in toronto and hamilton, ontario. Testees is now showing on fx in the uk and comedy central in germany and austria. After one season, testees was not renewed by fx.

premise

the series follows two friends (steve markle and jeff kassel) as they work as human test subjects at testico, a product testing facility. Besides being an obvious play on testes – including the descended double "e" in its logo – the name of the show plays up the vulnerability of test subjects, which is the source of much of the humour in the series.

cast and characters

pete cooper (steve markle): Peter is somewhat neurotic and awkwardly unsuccessful with women. He seems to dwell on the negative realities in the world, failing to enjoy life in the moment. His negativity is more subtle than aggressive. He’s a good-hearted person. Peter is slightly anti-social. He likes playing video games and dvds like girls gone wild. Despite his negative traits he’s still likeable and is rarely loud or obnoxious. He’s a bit of a slob and paranoid about the unforeseen effects of the experiments. It’s usually peter that gets the short end of the stick. Peter has dreams of being rich but doesn’t do anything to get there.

Ron mitchell (jeff kassel): Ron is slightly more normal than peter. He doesn’t mind being a guinea pig as much as peter does. He justifies his choice of occupation by deeming it a necessary service to society. He’s generally more composed than his pal and slightly better with women. Most people would admire his loyalty and ethics. Like peter, he strives for a better life. He’s vaguely more aware of the real world than peter is but he’s still a complete slacker and a tad naive. In the end he’ll always do what’s right, but it might take him a little time to figure it out.

Nugget (joe pingue): He’s loud, he’s obnoxious and he’s always looking for a scam to make a quick buck - even if it means selling out those closest to him. He’s also ron and peter’s best friend.

Kate (kim schraner): She’s cute, spunky and probably the smartest person in the show. But nugget and the boys always manage to drag her down to their level. She’s like one of the boys, but with boobs.

Larry (kenny hotz): The most senior testee and testico’s resident ladies man. He always gets the best products to try - and while the boys suffer, he finds a way to turn even the worst side effects to his advantage.

episode list

1. Gas pills october 9, 2008 (april 16, 2009 - uk) -- after being the test subjects for a new pill, the guys find out that peter is pregnant.
2. Pill for men october 16, 2008 (april 23, 2009 - uk)-- after going through a gender reassignment procedure ron and peter become women for three days; nugget tries to impress his father by letting him meet his new fiancée, peter, his father then makes an indecent proposal; and ron runs into one of his ex's after kate introduces him to a group of lesbians.
3. Forget me nugget october 23, 2008 (april 30, 2009 - uk) -- after losing their memory testing new method of brain washing, nugget convinces ron and peter that they are gay, so he can get revenge on the two for getting him a male stripper for his birthday party; kate runs for the city's zoning commissioner, as a hard right wing conservative, so she can get a patio for her bar.
4. Vac attack october 30, 2008 (may 7, 2009 - uk) -- ron and peter get to test out a new military-grade vacuum. After getting it, it begins attacking them for their messy lifestyles. After finding graffiti in the bathroom of her bar, kate asks nugget to watch out to find out who's doing it, instead he turns her bathroom into a five-star restaurant.
5. Uber-glued november 6, 2008 (may 14, 2009 - uk) -- ron and peter test out a new super glue and a prank goes horribly wrong, resulting in peter being super-glued to ron's backside, which ron end's up using to his advantage, by taking amy out on a date; nugget opens up his own sperm bank in kate's bar.
6. Herfume november 13, 2008 (may 21, 2009 - uk) -- ron and peter test out an experimental pheromone spray that make ugly women very attracted to them.
7. Kicking the bucket list november 20, 2008 (may 28, 2009 - uk) -- when ron and peter face their deaths, they come to the realization that they haven't lived a full life.
8. Abstinence underwear december 4, 2008 (june 4, 2009 - uk) -- ron and peter test out new chastity belts that emit an electrical charge when they get erections, after getting control of their erections and days left to go with the experiment they both meet women out of their league, so they must find a way to get the chastity belts off.
9. Jelly bean omelettes december 4, 2008 (june 11, 2009 - uk) -- ron takes care of peter after he is paralyzed by testing out a new muscle relaxant; nugget sets up an art gallery show, for a painting he found in the dumpster and then says a quadriplegic peter painted them.
10. Mr. Pain and danger lad december 11, 2008 (june 18, 2009 - uk) -- when the doctors at testico tell ron and peter they've lost the ability to feel pain, they turn into daredevils.
11. Pineapple shampoo december 11, 2008 (june 25, 2009 - uk)-- nugget moves into ron and peter's apartment, to live rent free, after they are blinded by a new shampoo.
12. Project x december 18, 2008 (july 2, 2009 - uk) -- ron and peter begin imagining symptoms after testico will not tell them what they are testing out.
13. Truth serum december 18, 2008 (july 9, 2009 - uk) -- ron and peter test out a new truth serum for testico, which unravels peter's past and puts his friendship with ron in jeopardy.

Буду вам очень благодарен!! Очень нужна помощь !

[SnakeD]

Я перевожу прохождение к игре,и там встречаются непонятные мне предложения.
И по ходу перевода я буду сюда писать их.
Английский я знаю плоховато и поэтому частенько наверно будут такие легкие предложения...
Вот уже одно предложение не могу перевести,ну конечно не целиком его не понимаю но чтоб вам понятно было естественно целиком пишу его....вот, помогите пожалуйста.

Run up the stairs and then use the TRIANGLE button to hop over the box to find some Chaff Grenades. You can either hop over the railing using TRIANGLE or go back over the box and down the stairs, but either way you want to get on the other side of the platform that you are on.

[Орион]

Поднимись по лестнице и потом используй TRIANGLE (не знаю что за игра,самый простой перевод треугольник)кнопку, что бы забраться на коробку, и там найти Chaff Grenades.Ты можешь либо перелезть через ограду, используя TRIANGLE (треугольник), либо вернутся через коробку и спустится по лестнице, но так или иначе тебе надо будит добраться до другой стороны платформы, на которой ты сейчас.

[Nika]

Ladies and gentlemen…
Adam Lambert walked into the room.
Tall, in a slim cut jacket that was tailored to perfection, hair perfectly coiffed, he entered with a big smile. And perhaps there was something about my GIANT BEAMING GLOWWORM FACE that caught his attention, because the next thing I know, Adam Lambert is there, introducing himself to me. And it went a little something… like this:
(Ahead, our exclusive interview, along with dozens of Lambert pics with him looking ~fabulous~. Plus, we get the scoop on his bromance with Kris Allen!)

Michelle: I am having a panic attack.
Adam: Hi, how are you?
Michelle: Hi I’m Michelle. We have so much to talk about. I’m freaking out! I adore you.
Adam: Don’t freak out.
Michelle: But I am. I just lost 7 pounds from excitement.
Adam: Oh my god, are you serious? I need to start freaking out more often.
Michelle: What!? You look fabulous; you don’t need to lose a pound.
Adam: No I need to lose about fifteen.
Michelle: I’ll seriously kill you, you’re gorgeous! Don’t change a thing.
Adam: I know your face from this show, right?

(Ed. Note: I would just like to repeat this sentence because I just cracked my skull open, pulled my brain out of it, deep fried it, put some corn cob holders in the sides, and put it back in my skull cavity out of shock.)

Michelle: (gulp) I was on the show a while ago, yeah. I’ve done some other stuff for VH1.
Adam: Okay that’s what I thought because I was like “I know you, I’ve seen you before.”�
Michelle: (me right now) Wait a minute you cannot say that because I am shaking. Are you kidding? Do you know that I literally want to have your children?

At this point, I believe it was his publicist who slowly backed him away from me, carefully, like one would walk away from a mental patient, or Gary Busey. He was then introduced to Mr. Paul F. Tompkins, dressed impeccably as always, with whom he was shooting a hilarious bit with for Friday night’s brand new episode. We don’t wanna give away EXACTLY what happened… but let’s just say some pretty swanky glasses are involved:

Not to mention a pretty damn lucky CPR doll:

Let me also say this about Adam… forget his incredible singing ability for a second… but what an actor! He nailed his lines ON THE FIRST TAKE — complicated words, mind you — and had the sort of comic sensibility that one can only be born with. The entire room was cracking up from the guy — be sure to watch tomorrow night to see the entire bit, because it delivers.

Once Adam and Paul breezed through their respective bits together, I unsheathed my diamond-studded Wolverine claws, sunk them into the kid’s back, and hauled him away from his throngs of glowing fans in an effort to get at least 10 minutes one on one. The poor guy had been up since the crack of dawn, and now here he was, ending his exhausting day with the ghost of Robin Williams: Me.
As we walked from the set into the green room, our arms were nearly touching:

Michelle: Do you realize that you are a magical person?
Adam: Well, thank you. (arms touching now) And I’m only attracted to other magical people.
Michelle: (Click here to see animated rendering of me.)

In the green room, a tray of fruit was set up, which we all convened around while bantering. But Lambert’s clock was ticking down — and while I would have loved to have stood there all day chatting about seedless watermelon, we had business to attend to. And it is then that THE MOST EXCITING INTERVIEW OF MY ENTIRE LIFE began:

Michelle: Come! Sit, take a load off. I have a question before we start: Are you a fan of The Golden Girls?
Adam: Not really, I think I’m too young.
Michelle: Are you? How old are you? I thought you were my age.
Adam: I’m 27.
Michelle: I’m 27! I look like your mother, but I am.
Adam: But I never got into The Golden Girls! I’m more Sex and the City than I am Golden Girls.
Michelle: Duly noted.

Michelle: First of all, parents around the world need confirmation on this: You’re Jewish?
Adam: Mm-hm.
Michelle: Why are we not Be-fris? We could take Bas Mitzvah classes together! You name it, anything. Come to Israel with me this Summer!
Adam: Oh my god, what’s it called… Birthright?
Michelle: Yes. I did it! I couldn’t turn down the free trip.
Adam: Was it cool?
Michelle: Well, I was the tallest person in the whole country, but yeah, it was great!
Adam: Did you plant a tree?
Michelle: No, me? Trees? Come on. I ate some hummus, got a tan. Did you know that they actually play you on the radio over there? Your “Mad World” cover is an international sensation.
Adam: Really, in Israel?
Michelle: I swear to you.

Michelle: What do you think of your international success?
Adam: You know, I’m getting little whiffs of it.
Michelle: Are you? I hope that’s not my D and G lady cologne that you’re getting whiffs of right now. I’m such an idiot, don’t even talk to me.
Adam: (laughing) I love it, I love you!
Michelle: Really? Say it again, so everyone in the room hears you.
Adam: I love her. (Into the microphone) I love her.
Michelle: I have to tell you something. So my Mom calls me the night that you lost…
Adam: I didn’t lose! I just didn’t win. Half-full, half-full.
Michelle: Well, listen, your whole life is a win. Everything about you is “WIN“.
Adam: Yeah, exactly, there’s no losing.
Michelle: I’m not even just saying this: you are magical, from Mars, I don’t even think you’re of this Earth. Now let’s talk about something the internet needs to know more about: Your Bromance with Kris. Which has taken on a life of its own: There’s fan fiction involving you two…
Adam: Oh really?
Michelle: Did you not know about that?
Adam: (laughing) No I didn’t.
Michelle: Oh my god. Adam.
Adam: I kind of want to read it.
Michelle: It’s kind of hot. I’m really serious, Adam, it’s so good.
Adam: We should show it to his wife. That’s who we should have read it.
Michelle: Do you like Kris’ wife?
Adam: She is adorable. They are the cutest couple in the world. He is the nicest guy. He’s genuine. He’s totally what you see is what you get. He means it. He’s open-minded, and he’s a real musician. He’s great.
Michelle: Was there anyone in the house when you were living with all the Idol people who you really didn’t get along with so much?
Adam: Yes.
Michelle: I think I know who it is. Are you allowed to talk about it?
Adam: I can’t say.
Michelle: Can I say it?
Adam: Well I’m on tour with them all summer, I can’t say! Maybe after the tour.
Michelle: Oh right! I tried to buy tickets yesterday. Look, when you’re in Newark, call me. Anything you need from the city, I’ll bring to you over there.
Adam: [Laughing] Okay.

(Suddenly, Adam’s phone rings.)

Michelle: Oh… who’s calling you? Someone has Adam’s number, that’s so exciting, what a lucky person. Where are you staying? Not that I’m going to come stalk you… I’m losing my job because of this, surely. By the way (motioning at Adam’s security guard, who is way hot) How on Earth did you end up with such a hot security guard? I thought there was a male model in the room! (The two of us laugh. Then I chime in, desperately) Adam, we need to be friends! No, you’re too famous for me.
Adam: Be-fris?
Michelle: Yes!! (The laughter continues, until I realize I’m being photographed.)
Michelle: Oh, great, that will be a nine-chinner, easy.
Adam: I do the same laugh! It pulls your face back!
Michelle: It’s the Jimminy Glick laugh. Where you look like you’re covered in Styrofoam and you want to kill yourself.

Michelle: OK, let me ask you a question about your brother.
Adam: Yeah.
Michelle: NegativeNeil.com.
Adam: You’ve seen it?
Michelle: I have.
Adam: Oh, right on.
Michelle: He’s hilarious.
Adam: He is hilarious.
Michelle: And adorable.
Adam: Yeah.
Michelle: I know he was saying that a lot of ladies are interested in you. I’m interested in your friendship, just so you know. If you need a surrogate though… I’m here. So, your brother. He’s hot, he’s single, he’s a Lambert. I’m thinking of doing a contest for the website called “Win a Date with Neil Lambert.”�
Adam: Oh my god! You have to!
Michelle: Would he do it?
Adam: Oh he would totally do it. He’s hilarious. He makes me look socially awkward. He’s that funny. I told him at the very beginning, you will get ladies because of me.
Michelle: You don’t even know how slutty I am, so fingers crossed! Don’t look at me that way. (A camera flash goes off.) Oh photos, I forgot. Hold on, let me do the Monica Lewinsky turn so that I look narrow. I am going to Photoshop these. I’ll look like the skeleton from Beetlejuice next to you, shrunken head, you don’t even know.
Adam: I do, I love that movie!

[Nika]

Michelle: Did you ever watch yourself on the show?
Adam: On Idol? Yeah. Well I downloaded the videos on iTunes.
Michelle: Do they quarantine you when you’re in the house? Can you read stuff about yourself?
Adam: Yes, I had a computer. I could read stuff on the internet, watch TV. I could get picked up by friends and leave. I had a curfew, that was it.
Michelle: Now what did you think when you saw yourself on the show?
Adam: I said “More makeup and oh I look fat and I hate high-definition.”�
Michelle: HD is the devil. How do you not lose your voice?
Adam: It was hard. It was tiring. But luckily, we only sing two nights out of the week, so the rest of the time if you needed to you could kind of fake it.
Michelle: You’re going to be on the cover of Rolling Stone?
Adam: (A lot of side-glances to his publicist.) Maybe… (The publicist announces I have one question left.)
Michelle: Well now I’m unraveling because the pressure’s on. Oh! Let’s go through a quick thing, this will be fun: Favorite movie, tv, song… (his eyes roll back in his head) Is that gonna make you nuts?
Adam: I’m not good at favorites! Favorite movie is Velvet Goldmine, I can say that.
Michelle: Would you be the lead singer for Queen if they asked?
Adam: You know, I want to do my own thing. I want to be my own lead singer. But I would love to guest star with them anytime.
Michelle: OK, last question. Tell me… How short is Ryan Seacrest?
Adam: Short.
Michelle: Great answer. I love you.

Then? Then we hugged THREE TIMES. Yes, my jacket is already being laminated for Smithsonian-esque purposes. And now, I can honestly say having met my new life hero Adam Lambert: He is every bit as amazing a person as he is a singer. Best. Hero. Ever.

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