Перевод с русского на английский

[Максим]

Juzy, добрый день!
А можно проверить на удобоваримость мой перевод песни Наутилуса "Прогулки по воде"... Может быть, какие-то слова или выражения звучат искусственно и неестественно? Количество слогов и последовательность ударений вроде бы соблюдены... Всё утро в голове звучала и перевелась за 10 минут

So Andrei the apostle sat on the quay
And the Savior he walked on the waves
And Andrei fished the minnows again and again
And the Savior fished souls to save

And Andrei cried to him, I will climb off the pier
If you let me this big secret know
And the Savior replied, could
You calm down, Andrei
There is no any secret at all

Take a look at the hill
There rises a cross
A dozen soldiers beneath
Go and hang for awhile
And when you’re getting bored
Do come back once again
To walk on the waves, to walk on the waves, to walk on the waves like I

But my Master, horns glare on their helmets so bright
And black raven, in circles it soars
Please explain to me now, to your fool please be kind
Crucifixion perhaps we postpone

And the Savior was stunned, he stomped then in rage
The smoothest surface of sea
What a fool you sure are, and Andrei with his catch
Had to just plod back home in tears

Take a look the hill
There rises a cross
A dozen soldiers beneath
Go and hang for awhile
And when you’re getting bored
Do come back once again
To walk on the waves, to walk on the waves, to walk on the waves like I

Четвёртую строку я не стал переводить буквально. Он же не всамделишных утопленников вытаскивал, в моём понимании...